D-Day for our family, still! I have been reliving four years ago, over and over and over today. I really just want to cancel my counseling session for tonight and run away and hide, but I know that is not what’s best for me.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way in to work this morning and bought me some roses to try to help brighten my day, if there is any brightness that can be had on the day you lost your oldest child. I have had tears close to falling all day. I received a call right before I went to lunch today from my youngest daughter, she was crying so hard, I could barely make out what she was saying. She had just got three tickets, and then was involved in a car accident. It was evidently not meant for her to drive down to the country to visit her sister and her brother’s graves. I had wanted to go down Friday, but have such little vacation time left because of my surgery earlier this year, that I cancelled it because I am afraid I will need it before the end of the year, due to doctor appoinments or being sick, etc.
I am not sure there are many co-workers that even know what today is, and, I know they don’t know this weekend is my son’s birthday, whom I lost in May of 2011. It has really been a rough, almost, week that I have gone through.
I’m trying to help my son, too, to find out what he can do to keep from losing his home and his car due to losing his job in July, and unemployment has been denied, but he is going to appeal it. In the meantime, he has no income, and has finally got a few food stamps to help him a little.
I wish I had the energy to get all of us together over the weekend, and get his yard mowed and things on the outside cleaned up, but I am just about to lose my emotions and fall apart completely. I wish I could curl up and life just go away. Wish I could find a way. Life just doesn’t seem important anymore.
I had better go for now, have to get ready for a workshop from 1 to 3 this afternoon. countrygirl29 By the way, send me a case of kleenex!! I’m going to need them before this life is over.
thecountrygirl29 