Well, yesterday was a mostly good day, sad some in the evening, but that’s ok. So many people complimented me on how good I looked (I think it;s probably the wearing of contacts instead of glasses, although I have lost a little weight). It was a beautiful day and I just felt good, I felt good even from the minute I got out of bed.
I walked down to Ben Franklin and bought a pair of sun glasses, and the clerk and I were talking and I mentioned I had just recently lost my son and we talked a little more, then I left. As I was walking down the sidewalk, a lady called to me, not by name, as she didn’t know my name. I stopped and turned around and walked back to her. She said she had overheard me say I had just lost my son and she said she had just lost her husband a few months ago. There was just something that clicked with us because of the bond of loss and grief, and the fact that we understood each other’s loss as much as possible, and she had mentioned that unless someone had experienced the loss, they cannot understand it and understand what you are going through, and I agreed. We stood talking for a while and then we both went on our way. I really wish we could have become friends, I really liked her a lot in the few minutes we talked, I think she and I could have become good friends.
My day continued to be good, and when I got to my second job, when the young lady who does our cleaning came in, she was just ecstatic over the changes in me within the last few weeks, and we talked for quite awhile. She even asked if I had found a boyfriend or if there was something special going on in my life and I said no, but she could find me a boyfriend if she wanted to!
I received a call from the funeral home that my son’s death certificates were in, so I left in time to get them. That was hard for me. I sat in the van for a while, reading over them, and wanting to cry. When I got home, I sat down and read them again, and just held them close, this seemed to be the last part of my son’s life, and I just wanted to keep clinging to it. It was listed as an accidental death, which I already knew it was. After that, I just consoled myself with some pork rinds and sour cream and went to bed. My eyes were a little tired anyway, from wearing the contacts.
This morning I am doing ok, I cannot believe I actually put on makeup and earrings to go in to work today. There will be no one there except my co-worker and myself, but I still felt like dressing up a little, I guess I’m getting into the habit of doing it now and it’s starting to become second nature to me.
I had better get started to work, find something today to make you stop and think about the beauty of the world and the people in it, countrygirl29
thecountrygirl29 