October 30, 2013

It’s hard for me to write tonight because I am still really depressed, and don’t wasn’t to do anything.  I took today off on vacation to make pumpkin bars and chili for my family for tomorrow night, but didn’t really get anything done except cooked a pumpkin and toasted some pumpkin seeds.  I just don’t have any energy or desire to do anything.  I told my counselor that I just have so much pressure come down on me that I just want to throw my hands up and give up, and he told me no.  We talked about the fact that I need to get out of the middle of everything and take care of myself.  I don’t even know how to do those things.

i don’t even want to work my part time job, but I have to.  Since I have missed work this week, I know I will need to work at least some during both Saturday and Sunday.  I like the work, I’m just depressed and don’t want to do anything.  I wouldn’t even go to my full time job if I didn’t have to, I would just stay at home and sit in my recliner and stare into space!  I can’t even get the energy to do some closet cleaning so I can get more other two bedrooms carpet replaced with vinyl flooring.

i guess I’m going to close and maybe go to bed, I need to put chili in the crockpot in the morning before I go to work since I didn’t get it made today, or, the pumpkin bars either, and I really don’t care about that either.  Countrygirl29

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October 27, 2013

I just figured out how to do voice activation on my iPad.  I think this is going to be fun. I just have to remember to talk slowly and to stop at the end of each sentence let it catch up. I know they’re going to be typos unless I go back and correct them because it can’t always make out the words that I’m saying, and, it doesn’t put in punctuation.

im back now and ready to write for a while.  It’s about 7:30 Sunday night and I just put a spaghetti squash in the oven to bake, and when it’s finished, I’m going to mix spaghetti sauce with it for a late dinner.  And, the dogs are outside and will want back in the house pretty soon.  I h ve my little grandpuppy here for a while this evening while his Moma goes fishing.  I have cooked a pumpkin and will need to smash it up pretty soon.  I will use it to make Pumpkin Bars for thursday night when we get together for our tradition of chili on halloween night.

im still trying to get furniture moved around so that i can get te other two bedrooms ready to be measured for the new flooring, and my brother is delighting in the fact that my little grandpuppy is still upset with me because I pulled some cuckaburs out of his feet, and he saw me get some scissors to use to trim a little hair out of the way.

ive been listening to some gospel music on the tv, and now am trying to find Columbo to watch.  I may put in a Dvd of Bill Gaither’s  and watch that for a while Pretty soon.  I looked on craigslist and found a pair of drapes for my living room.  Since it has been so long since I have felt like doing anything after losing my two older children, Adkins this year I am finally starting to want to do things again, and, since I have replaced my carpet with vinyl flooring, I want to put up new drapes, too.

after I eat a bite pretty soon, I plan to work from home for a while, my hours for the month have to be turned in tomorrow.

I still get depressed , especially weekends, and that may always be my life now.

I get pretty discouraged that my house is so piled up, but until my floors are finished. Nod my new windows are in, I can’t see much change in that area.

i don’t know why I had to hit sin city again today with sodas, candy and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Guess I will sign off for now, countrygirl29.

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October 26, 2013

As I sit here in my recliner awaiting the time to go meet my breakfast pal (but for lunch, not breakfast), I am finding that there are a few tears wanting to slide down my cheeks and I’m trying not to let them fall.  For, you see, I have lost another friend, one of about thirty-five years.  you see, my piano left this morning, and even though I couldn’t play it, it’s been a part of my life for a little over thirty-five years!  I could tell it was going to a good home, though, just by talking with the young lady who got it.  After all the time of trying to get rid of it and I couldn’t even give it away, I casually mentioned it to someone at my part time job, and within a matter of hours, this young lady contacted me, wanting it.  She said she hadn’t been able to play one for about eleven years, not since she left home, except on occasion when they visited their friends who had a piano.  I feel good about her and her husband getting it.  She appreciated getting it and gave me a thank you card, along with a beautiful bouquet of autumn colored flowers and a gift card to the cheesecake factory, now I just need to locate one! 🙂

I wish I had grabbed my camera and taken pictures of them getting it down my stairs and into the truck, but it was too late when I thought of it.

im going to upload the pictures of the flowers, some taken beside my spaghetti squash and my pumpkins, which I hope to bake later today and then make pumpkin bars.  Then I need to leave and meet my breakfast pal.  It’s hard to believe, there were four men, but it took them less than thirty minutes to get it loaded.  Countrygirl29

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October 25, 2013

Some of you may be wondering how I am doing, since I don’t write much anymore. For me, not writing is not necessarily a good sign, it just means that I really don’t have much interest in it right now, and for me, the way I love writing, that’s not a good sign. I’ve been having some health issues, and have had a change in one of my meds, an ultrasound and a cat scan done, which I have not received the results of yet. There is still so much going on, and I have so much on my plate, that I am really feeling the depression setting in again. As I listened to the radio on my way into work this morning, I really identified with one do the songs, ‘she’s a broken lady, waiting to be mended’ and that’s the way I feel right now. My big thing is praying that God will not let me shatter into a million pieces right now. I just have more than I can handle again.

For those that like to see my pictures, I have a couple that I took one morning this week as I was getting ready to back out of my driveway. I’ll try to upload them now. Countrygirl29

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