It’s 3:10 Saturday morning and I can’t sleep. I think it’s because I have a lot on my mind. I know it won’t be long before my therapy sessions are over and I am afraid of slipping backward when that happens. Maybe though, just maybe if I force myself or pretend to be doing all the things I’m supposed to do, and pretend that I am happy, maybe the happiness will take over within my body and head. I know I’m going to have to start weaning myself from my therapist because he’s not always going to be there for me, and I’m afraid, afraid of not having anyone to talk to any more. I know I have friends that love me but I can say anything to my counselor, anything, and I can’t to my friends, I’m not close enough to any of them to be able to be comfortable enough to say everything that’s on my heart, so I ask you, my friends and readers, to live me up in prayer that I can get through these next few weeks and months that follow, plus through the upcoming holidays. I have to wipe a few tears, so I will be right back.
I can tell my neck has been starting to hurt some, so it may not be long before I’m back in to the pain management for shots again. I took my dogs to the beauty shop yesterday morning and right now Annie is lying beside me on a quillow and Mosie has the pillow, they are both sleeping. I’ve been a wake for quite a while and I finally got up around 2:15 and let the dogs out and when I let them back in, I realized I was wide awake and knew there was no use to go back to bed yet so I cut a pumpkin and am cooking it right now. I made toasted pumpkin seeds Thursday night and I think they were the best and healthiest one’s I have ever made. I’ll be making more of them this weekend. I need to make pumpkin bars tomorrow to have Monday night when the kids come over and one to take to work Monday.
I came home from work early last night because I couldn’t get my leg comfortable enough so that it wouldn’t hurt, so today I’m going to take a pillow with me to put under my leg. I just went to let Mosie out and was getting hungry so I ate a bread and butter sandwich so I guess the one I had for dinner wasn’t enough. I will probably let my fake nails go and try to take them off. I just don’t really have the money to keep going every two weeks to do them and especially now that my hours are down at the second job. They’re down by about $300. My pumpkin is now cooked and is cooling and I’m going to try to take a nap. See you later, countrygirl29
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