This morning my dogs and I sat and listened to the storm and heard the thunder roll and the lightning crash. Annie was afraid, but Mosie was even more afraid, which was really unusual, he was shaking so hard and was climbing on the back of the couch and down beside me and into the floor and behind the couch, he just could not stay still. I sat in the recliner for quite a while with my dogs and held them and tried to console them. It finally let up for a while and I got ready for work, I was going to drive to Farmington today to work with a co-worker at the doctor’s office there. As I drove, the clouds kept gathering and I kept watching them, and took several pictures of them (yes, you are right, I have this ‘thing’ about clouds). It was a major contrast driving down from what it was driving back about 5:00 in the afternoon.
It was nice to get out away from everything that I was dealing with and see some different scenery for a while. We ate lunch at Colton’s, one of my favorite places to eat when I am down there. I took a few pictures of the inside and outside of the restaurant, I wish I had thought to take a picture of the onion twisters when they were first brought to the table, but didn’t think of it until we were through and ready to leave, and there was only a few of them left.
One of Jeff’s friends stopped by for a little while this evening and is going to come back in a few days and work on some things that need to be done outside, things Jeff had already told him he wanted to get started cleaning up for me.
I had a few pork rinds and sour cream for dinner, but was still pretty stuffed from lunch.
I am feeling better today than the last few days. I met with my counselor yesterday and that helped a lot. I know I have to deal with and get help with the hurt that I have from when I lost Jeff and the fact that there was no visit, no phone call, no card from the staff at the church where we belonged, and there was no plant or flower sent from the church like there was when I lost Jennifer, and no food provided for the family, except when my daughter-in-laws’ friend found out we didn’t have anything to eat during the visitation or funeral, and she brought some sandwiches in for us. I went through a big hurt with this episode and it’s hard to deal with, and I guess because I don’t understand why, and what brought such a change in losing my daughter and losing my son. It’s going to take some counseling for me to deal with this, too. I may need to go to counseling twice a week for a while, before losing Jeff, it looked like the counseling might be starting to go to every other week soon, but now it’s more often instead of less.
I’m starting to wind down from a busy day now and starting to feel my loss again, so am going to close, and let you enjoy the slide show. countrygirl29
I am not at all in your “shoes” yet have the compassion for you as a wonderful person. I don’t know the details of the passing of your children. Yet, I know the love of a mother who is grieving over such a momumental loss(es).
Thank you for this blog. It reminds me how precious of a time we have together. You are forever in my prayers. We pray the pain will pass.
As for the church not responding? or not knowing? I don’t know the circumstances. Perhaps they need to be gently reminded of how hurtful this was. Churches, like all organizations, go through ups and downs and the individual(s) who may have been in charge of making sure you had something, may have been going through something as well.
Healing takes time and there is no script or timeline for you to recover. Be comforted to know that there are many of us who will continue to wrap our arms around you and are always available.
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Ann, thank you so much for your comment, it means a lot to me and is a great encouragement to me. I am glad I have the privilege to work with you. and look forward to sharing with you in the future, both by my blogging site and with our working together. Peggy
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